I was flabbergasted (putting my Over-the-Top Word of the Month calendar to good use) to hear that a Numbeo report ranked Egypt as the 7th cheapest country in the world to live in according. Apparently, the cost of living ranks cheaper than places like Macedonia, Indonesia and, somehow, Syria. Due to things like subsidised bread, affordable higher education and not spending all of our money on word of the month calendars, we’ve managed to reach a point where the cost of living is less than half of that of countries like France, Belgium and the UK. But I’m not so sure; living in Egypt never seems that cheap. Here are a few times when living in Egypt has seemed pretty damn expensive.
1. That time I spent 200LE on a double whiskey at Cairo Jazz Club.
2. That time I bought a plain taamiya sandwich from Zooba.
I’ll stick to the greasy cheap stuff, thanks.
3. That time the power outage fried my laptop.
4. That time a coin of hash seemingly tripled in price.
5. That time I smoked that coin of hash and decided to go to Quick.
6. That time I gave a sayes 10LE for doing fuck all.
7. That time I started smoking Marlboro ‘abyad’.
8. That time I thought people would think I was cool if I rented an apartment in Zamalek.
Zamalek – land of the free and rich.
9. That time I was told I was going to be seeing the “biggest DJ in Europe.”
10. That time I tried to make a living by writing for Cairo Gossip.
WILL WRITE 4 WHISKEY, TOO.