Today, the Cairo Gossip team sat around the office crystal ball – yeah, we have one of those – as we inch closer to a New Year full of hope, promise and nonsense.
1. Tamarai will come clean about the very elaborate and believable April Fools’ joke that got out of hand.
2. Omar Samra will become the first man to dig to China because he didn’t have anything else to do that day.
3. Y-Lounge will change its name to Y-Cantwedecideonanameandsticktoit.
4. These sexy Sisi pyjamas will become the must-have item of spring/summer 2014.
5. VENT will be hugely successful and move to a smaller, darker venue.
6. Sushi will overtake koshary, ta3meya and mombar to become Egypt’s national dish.
7. By summer 2014, there will be more DJs than doctors in Cairo.
8. Following a successful move into Dubai, ByGanz will continue to break boundaries by holding the first Google Hangout party in history.
9. The constitution will address women’s rights issues simply by banning women. It’s not a problem if you can’t see it.
10. Our dear, beloved Froggie will finally find a princess to kiss him.
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.