Six Signs That Egypt Really is on a Downward Spiral
One can’t help but admire the Egyptian people’s optimism in the face of political, economic and social turmoil. But while protestors in Tahrir send a firm no thank you to US aid and others celebrate the messiah that is Sissi, there are much more evil forces at work – forces that have been eroding Egypt from the inside for years.
1. Big business is moving in on the country’s few thriving industries.
Ask your local koshk about the new ‘Walaa3a Nano’.
2. In cutting costs, manufacturers are being forced to use steelm – a new substitute for steel. Clearly it’s not very good.
At least they got ‘scissors’ right.
3. A new breed of MILF lawyers are corrupting the moral fibre of the country.
The ‘m’ in MILF stands for ‘mama’.
4. Even our sacred language is being thrown by the wayside.
Thanks a lot, Westernisation and cultural imperialism.
5. Our youth is riddled with STDs.
Refrain from making physical contact with staff at your local supermarket.
6. But the real sufferers in all of this are the potatoes.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE POTATOES!
These are tough times, Cairo. Stay safe and take care of each other.