2016-10-28 21:37:13date was

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  • How North West’s Life Would Turn Out if Kim Hadn’t Gone Back for Her


    You know that feeling you get when you think you’re forgetting something important? Kim Kardashian certainly does. A video of the socialite leaving a hotel and suddenly turning around to go back in, only to come back out carrying her daughter (oops?) is currently trending and the subject of a lot of criticism. 

    Here’s how we think North West’s life would turn out if Kim hadn’t gone back for her.


     She gets adopted by Angelina Jolie…


    Her stepmom’s work in the UNHCR teaches her to help the less fortunate instead of spending her inheritance on ridiculously expensive sweats.

     She changes her name to Jane Smith…


     In the spirit of fitting in, she chooses a ‘normal’ name for herself.

     She doesn’t believe in plastic surgery and enhancements , because she is taught to appreciate her natural beauty…


    Despite inheriting Kanye’s nose and Kim’s original butt.

     She develops good taste in music…


    Classical > Hip-hop.

     She joins Taylor Swift’s Squad… 


    Completely unaware of the beef between T-Swizzle and her birth parents.

     She dates Blac Chyna & Rob Kardashian’s daughter…


    Is it still incest if you don’t know it’s your cousin?

     She gets a part-time job at IKEA like a normal high school kid in need of pocket money…


    IKEA are actually impressed with her designs.

    However, IKEA doesn’t pay well, so she moonlights as a Paparazzo to earn money for college…


    ….Snapping pics of her real mom and dad.

    She gets accepted to Harvard…


    Because she was brought up to value education over Insta fame.

     She graduates with a degree in Ecology and dedicates her life to fighting for the LGBTQ rights of gender fluid Bearded Dragons in Australia…



    She is secretly Supergirl…


    Naturally, because all superheroes seem to have been abandoned as children.

     Yeah, she’s definitely better off without Kim & Kanye for parents.


    By Salma Thanatos Rizk & Ramy Soliman