If you’ve been following the riveting and often abstract #DaWalaDa campaign over the last month or so, you’ll know that there have been several mysterious and confusing sightings of two enigmatic figures around Cairo – Peach Man and Berry Man.
The mastermind behind this devilish design was revealed to be Mirinda, who have released two new flavours to its library of fruity, carbonated liquids, but it doesn’t stop at Berry Man and Peach Man. The argument over which one is better continues to rage on and some of the biggest social media influencers in Egypt have had their say, even going as far to align themselves with their fruit of choice. These are no mere mortals however – in fact, they didn’t choose the fruit…the fruit chose them. It’s destiny.
Like any respectable superhero outfit, everyone has their role; the leader is the face, the one who leads the battle line and shouts out generic motivational phrases; the wanderer is the possessor of worlds, all trapped in a mystic device they call a ‘camera’; the creator is the source of life and creation, who scoffs at the laws of physics; the mover harnesses energy into action; and the dreamer – possibly the most dangerous of them all – has insights into worlds we have yet to discover.
Ladies and gentleman, we give you the men and women who can shape this battle for the ages; bow down to the mighty superheroes of the Just-Peach League and the Avenge-Berries!
THE JUST-PEACH LEAGUE
Day Job: Comedian, all-round funnyman, target at parties for social medians – a word for people who work in social media that we just made up.
Peach Based Power: Can turn into a peach at any given moment to hide from enemies and/or hecklers at stand-up gigs.
Day Job: Photographer, cinematographer, heartbreaker. It’s that smile.
Peach Based Power: Can harness the power of natural light and the little-known reflective properties of the peach to use as a reflector for shoots.
Day Job: Visual artist, duck fan, occasional hand-model.
Peach Based Power: Can miraculously transform peaches into origami paper, before rebuilding it into…an origami peach.
Day Job: Dancing, generally being cooler than you and I.
Peach Based Power: Can execute a killer routine to 112’s 20012 r&b classic, Peaches & Cream.
Day Job: Architect, compulsive doodler, appreciator of inanimate objects.
Peach Based Power: Can harness the juice of a peach to create paint in a colour called khokhi. It’s like khaki but peach tinted.
Day Job: Comedian, Viner, first-class facial hair grower.
Berry Based Power: Can turn dried berries into fresh, plump, juicy ones using only his mind. Also known to be berry, berry funny. Sorry not sorry.
Day Job: Photographer, explorer, possessor of a great head of hair.
Berry Based Power: Can make any of her photography subjects look like Halle Berry. Or Au-berry Plaza. Or Angela Lans-berry.
Day Job: Designer, visual artist, being left-handed in a world full of cruel right-handers.
Berry Based Power: Can carefully dissect the bobbly segments of a raspberry and delicately build it again into a better, tastier more Instagram-able raspberry.
Day Job: Dancing and maintaining respectable swag levels in Cairo.
Berry Based Power: Can recite the lyrics to all songs by the legendary Chuck Berry. They can ‘jam’ to them, too.
FARAHZADA EL SHIHY
(Farahzada El Shihy/Instagram)
Day Job: Artist, flower appreciator, correcting people on how to spell and/or pronounce her name.
Berry Based Power: Can paint a still life piece of a bowl of pure berries without getting bored. Bowls of fruit are so last century.
Stay up to date on this epic, soft drink-based war on the Mirinda Facebook page.
By Kalam El Qahaira