Oh, you’re going to Gouna this Easter? You just bought some new flip-flops? Sounds lovely. What? Why am I not travelling? None of your business, that’s why. I want to stay in Cairo. I love Cairo.
Huh? No, I’m not going to stay in bed and stream TV shows. Because I love Cairo. Look at all the stuff I get to go to. I love Cairo. I do. Nervous laugh? No, that’s how I always laugh. I love Cairo.
DJ BAHER @ ROOFTOP LOUNGE
Tech house connoisseur, Baher, is set to weave his magic at Garden City’s Rooftop Lounge – why? Because he loves Cairo as much as I do. Maybe I’ll go hangout with him. Maybe we’ll bond over how much we both love Cairo.
MOLTEN AMBER @ ALCHEMY
The only thing I love more than Cairo, which I really do love, is whiskey – which is why I love Alchemy‘s Molten Amber. I really love Cairo. Keem ‘em coming, barkeep. Let’s toast to Cairo.
WE FUNK ON THURSDAYS @ THE GARDEN
Korba bar, the Garden, welcomes DJ Lyon Avakian, for the latest edition of We Funk on Thursdays, because Cairo is way funkier than your precious Gouna. Like, really funky.
D-CAF 2015: ISMAEL + BOIKUTT + BIRTH OF JOY @ SHEREZADE
Ha! Does Gouna have a contemporary arts festival? Does it have a cabaret as classy as Sherezade? No. D-CAF ends on a high note, with experimental hop-hop act, Boikutt, psychedelic rock band, Birth of Joy, and KIK’s ISMAEL all performing. Pff, Gouna is so mainstream.
EAT TO THE BEAT @ EAT & BARREL
Oh, you’re eating and drinking outside on a sunny afternoon, while looking over crystal clear waters? Whatever. I can do the same at Eat & Barrel‘s Eat to the Beat with Emirati DJ, Kaboo, to boot. See, even foreigners love Cairo. Not as much as I do, though.
DJ MIESH @ CAIRO JAZZ CLUB
I get to see DJ Miesh at Cairo Jazz Club. What’s that? You’re listening to house music by the pool or on the beach? Unacceptable. House music belongs in dark, smokey, crowded places.
EASTER GROOVE @ CAVALLINI
(Sunday & Monday)
Going to Easter Groove is going to get me a special platter on the house at Cavallini. What are you going to get in Gouna? Huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought. I just need to find, nay make, five friends.
NOURRE FAHMY + AGUIZI & FAHIM @ CAIRO JAZZ CLUB
The last day of the holiday sees Cairo Jazz Club welcome Student DJ alumnus, Nourre Fahmy and Aguizi & Fahim. Enjoy your long-ass car ride home.
For more reasons I love Cairo, check out the Cairo Gossip events Calendar.