Black is the colour of mystery. Black is the colour of the unknown. Black is the colour of skinny.
But black is the colour of Tamarai this Thursday, too, and it’s not just your outfit and how Tamarai’s masquerade masks might effect your makeup that you need to worry about. Cairo nightlife is a minefield of faux pas, and so here are ten nuggets of wisdom to ensure that you have an incident-free evening at the Black Party.
#1. DON’T wear white in an attempt to be funny. No one likes that guy. Plus, white makes you look fat.
#2. DON’T turn up with a Pastaweesy moustache. That doesn’t count as a mask. Plus, pasta makes you fat.
#3. DON’T wear an elegant Lolita bow-knot Victorian dress. It’s not that kind of masquerade party. Plus, it’ll make you look fat.
#4. DON’T wear black lipstick. It makes your lips look like tarmac.
#5. DON’T wear blackface. Just don’t.
#6. DON’T turn up in any other type of black than JET black. Them be the rules.
#7. DON’T get chummy with the bouncers. Everyone is dressed the same & wearing masks – they don’t have time for your shit.
#8. DON’T wear leather trousers. No one wants to hear your sweat-squeaks.
#9. DON’T come dressed as James Bond, Batman, Darth Vader, Johnny Cash, the Grim Reaper or any of the below. You’ll ruin the party for everyone.
#10. DON’T commit to writing a list of ten anything when you only have nine.
Have fun, folks.