2018-05-21 16:46:05date was

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  • Too Fat to Fight: ISIS Rejects Chubby Wannabes

    After making the long trip to Syria from their native Australia, two budding extremists were met with the devastating news that they aren't fit to represent ISIS.

    The pudgy siblings, along with their two other brothers, are the latest Australians to ditch life down under to join the ISIS ranks. Speaking to Sydney-based radio station, 2UE, local Islamic community leader, Jamal Rifi, has been in touch with the brothers in an attempt to convince them to return and, rather amusingly, put things into perspective.

    “I mean, they're over 140kg and people who are going to see them there, they are going to realize, what are they going to do with them? ‘You are going to eat our food and you can’t even run on the field?"

    Though the pair's weight will keep them off the battlefield, rumour has it that they have been cleared to undertake light misogyny.