2018-06-24 06:55:04date was

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  • Throw Away Your Mood Ring and Buy a Mood Bra

    The boffins at Microsoft have discovered a novel new way to monitor stress levels in women; by strapping an electronic EKG monitor to bras that then sends info to a corresponding phone app.

    This new technology, which is as ridiculous as it is innovative, has reportedly been developed to help stop over-eating; but we all know the real reason behind it – it’s an alarm system, surely?

    Just imagine, men of Cairo. Imagine a world where you're always one step ahead of your wives, girlfriends and feisty Ukrainian mistresses. She wants to go for dinner? Check the app. She 'needs to talk'? Check the app. You need permission to go on a lads' night out? Check the damn app.

    But mood trackers aren’t the only thing that scientists are interested in putting in bras; there’s also talk of a cancer-detecting bra and even a 'shock bra' to ward off potential harassers. Underwear will never be the same again.