It’s official. The world has gone mad.
A designer handbag, the limited edition Hermès Birkin, has bagged (get it?) the record for most expensive bag ever sold at auction, reported Bloomberg.
The fuchsia crocodile-skin diamond & gold-encrusted purse was sold for an outrageous $221,846 to an anonymous phone bidder at Christie’s international handbags and accessories auction in Hong Kong. Yes, this is a real thing, we just Googled it. What even is a recession?
The obscenely pink monstrosity beat the previous handbag record by a nominal $20,000 – loose change, in the greater scheme of things. The bag it kicked out of the running was also a Hermès Birkin sold in New York in 2011, according to the Wall Street Journal – also to a private Asian collector. Again, proper handbag collecting is a thing for wealthy Asian men, we Googled that too.
Think about it… that’s 1.7 million Egyptian pounds for something to hold your crap. I could get a plastic bag from Seoudi that would serve the same function and I wouldn’t need to hire a bodyguard to protect it.
Here are a few things you could do with 1.6 million pounds that do not include purchasing a glorified sack for the low price of somebody’s life savings.
With the money, you could send two children to universities abroad. You could buy a flying car (real thing) or a Ferrari. You could buy a really nice flat. You could travel the world – no expenses spared. You could feed a medium-sized African village for years. You could build a school, or a library, or even contribute to research to cure cancer. You could legitimately buy and own a person (although this is frowned upon), or order 15 hits on your enemies (hitmen are pretty cheap this time of year, and this is frowned upon too). If you were so inclined, you could buy a lifetime’s supply of sushi or steak or cheese or toilet paper. You could go to concerts, games, or WWE matches forever. The possibilities are legitimately ENDLESS. Instead of potentially buying an aquarium and filling it with sharks, you have a bag. Well done, good choice bro.